Is today the day

Is today the day that I get up and do the right things for myself and those that I love. I think that every day is that day but as the day wears on somedays it is harder to cope than others so I give in. How and why I do not know. Why one would subject themselves to the punishment that I feel so destined to command on myself, do I not feel I deserve to do better. Can I not accept happy satisfied feelings about myself. Is there something inside me that will not let me conquer my demons and become the person that I know I am .. Just hiding deep in there scared to come out. What is she scared of anymore? The person on the outside has gotten stronger and gotten out of harms way so to speak. Why will the little girl hide inside when so much is waiting for her out here? I think I have to talk to her and coax her our like a puppy from under the bed. I think maybe if I show her all the good things about staying out here that maybe she will come out and stick with me. I am going to to all I can every day to show the scared little girl that the fears are over and life is so much better and that really all the former fears should be shed as the new ones are just life's obsticales that everyone must eventually face. With my kid and the self I know I can be.. I can overcome anything If I will just get outside of myself already.. Ok now ready to go and face this day.. over and out..